*DISCLAIMER*To avoid the risk of being compared to the funniest "NAIL PLACE" Video I've ever seen, let me say my take on Pedicures is different, BUT in some ways, similar. HAHA!
Pedicures! who doesn't love them? The reason I decided to write about pedicures this morning is because I do love them. And, when my feet SCRAPE the sheets, like they did this morning, I know it's that time. Time to have the girl grab my foot (sometimes in not such a gentle way) and start the scrubbing. And scraping. And tickling..........
You walk into the salon and see these giant posters of Nails. Like MONSTER size. Like the posters cover one whole wall. Shiny posters. Posters that show these long talons colored in different colors. BRIGHT reds/ blues and sometimes black. Always with a rose. You KNOW you are in a Nail Salon, ok?? It's funny to me how the girls (and maybe a few guys, too), continue to work even as the bell rings (on the door--why they have them when they are all sitting right there is beyond me) and you walk in. NOW THIS IS THE STRANGE PART!!!!!!!! They don't even look up and ask, "Can I help you?"
You: "Yes, can you tell me where the asparagus aisle is? "
Scratch that, you were THINKING that, ok????
"Yes, I'd like a pedicure, please. Can you tell me how much?"
Nail expert: "depends. What you want done?"
You: IN YOUR MIND: "here we go again.....!"
" Just the regular thing. See I'm going on a cruise......."
Stop right here. You tell them you are going on a cruise, because you feel guilty that:
1. you don't really have the extra money to get a pedicure today
2. you would LIKE to be going on a cruise so it makes sense
3. you want to impress the other customers.
"Ok, good. Sit down over there and start soaking your feet. But first, you pick you Culla". (yes, "you culla" . NOT to be discriminating in the least, but a LOT of nail people in the 'Ham have accents).
AHHH. The chair. It's nice. The water is nice. BUT WAIT!!!!!! The water is warm but not HOT!!!!! Do you tell them? And risk being labeled a "Hoover snob"???? Dang it, the water has to be HOT. So, one expectation is shot. Oh well, get over it , you are thinking.
THEN YOU REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! you forgot to SHAVE YOUR LEGS!!!!!!! How could that happen??? You know what you are going to feel like as they get to the part where they rub your legs . You are going to feel like OLD GRIZZLEY has come to get a pedicure. You're embarrassed but past the point of caring as the massage feels so wonderful.
Nail Expert: "YOU LIKE?"
HUH?! you had just dropped off into a sea of tranquility zapped back to reality!
You: "Oh yes! Thank you!!!! Sorry, I totally forgot to shave this morning!"
Nail Expert: (ignoring comment) "You picka ya culla?"
You: "yes. the "Sex-on-the-pool table Red" (you whisper)
Nail Expert: "that culla be dolla more"
Not surprising.
Terry is in for some nice feet tonight. On the pool table.
Pedicures! who doesn't love them? The reason I decided to write about pedicures this morning is because I do love them. And, when my feet SCRAPE the sheets, like they did this morning, I know it's that time. Time to have the girl grab my foot (sometimes in not such a gentle way) and start the scrubbing. And scraping. And tickling..........
You walk into the salon and see these giant posters of Nails. Like MONSTER size. Like the posters cover one whole wall. Shiny posters. Posters that show these long talons colored in different colors. BRIGHT reds/ blues and sometimes black. Always with a rose. You KNOW you are in a Nail Salon, ok?? It's funny to me how the girls (and maybe a few guys, too), continue to work even as the bell rings (on the door--why they have them when they are all sitting right there is beyond me) and you walk in. NOW THIS IS THE STRANGE PART!!!!!!!! They don't even look up and ask, "Can I help you?"
You: "Yes, can you tell me where the asparagus aisle is? "
Scratch that, you were THINKING that, ok????
"Yes, I'd like a pedicure, please. Can you tell me how much?"
Nail expert: "depends. What you want done?"
You: IN YOUR MIND: "here we go again.....!"
" Just the regular thing. See I'm going on a cruise......."
Stop right here. You tell them you are going on a cruise, because you feel guilty that:
1. you don't really have the extra money to get a pedicure today
2. you would LIKE to be going on a cruise so it makes sense
3. you want to impress the other customers.
"Ok, good. Sit down over there and start soaking your feet. But first, you pick you Culla". (yes, "you culla" . NOT to be discriminating in the least, but a LOT of nail people in the 'Ham have accents).
AHHH. The chair. It's nice. The water is nice. BUT WAIT!!!!!! The water is warm but not HOT!!!!! Do you tell them? And risk being labeled a "Hoover snob"???? Dang it, the water has to be HOT. So, one expectation is shot. Oh well, get over it , you are thinking.
THEN YOU REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! you forgot to SHAVE YOUR LEGS!!!!!!! How could that happen??? You know what you are going to feel like as they get to the part where they rub your legs . You are going to feel like OLD GRIZZLEY has come to get a pedicure. You're embarrassed but past the point of caring as the massage feels so wonderful.
Nail Expert: "YOU LIKE?"
HUH?! you had just dropped off into a sea of tranquility zapped back to reality!
You: "Oh yes! Thank you!!!! Sorry, I totally forgot to shave this morning!"
Nail Expert: (ignoring comment) "You picka ya culla?"
You: "yes. the "Sex-on-the-pool table Red" (you whisper)
Nail Expert: "that culla be dolla more"
Not surprising.
Terry is in for some nice feet tonight. On the pool table.